David
Hawkes之《紅樓夢》英譯筆記封面

最近發現劉紹銘老師的文章有點意思，今讀其一文談翻譯，摘录例二則

一

In such commotion does the world’s theatre rage :
As each one leaves, another takes the stage.
In vain we roam:
Each in the end must call a strange land home.
Each of us with that poor girl may compare
Who sews a wedding-gown for another bride to wear.

《紅樓夢》第一回“好了歌”：
亂烘烘你方唱罷我登場，
反認他鄉是故鄉。
甚荒唐，到頭來都是為他人作嫁衣裳。

本客按：牛津大學漢學教授David
Hawkes譯，可能為迁就押韻，句子次序顛倒，意思大不同了；尤其，“Each
in the end must call a strange land
home”（反認他鄉是故鄉），劉老師亦指出，沒譯貼。

二

While my hair was cut straight across my forehead
I played about the forest gate, pulling flowers.
You came by on bamboo stilts, playing horse,
You walked about my seat, playing with blue plums.
……
At fifteen I stopped scowling,
I desired my dust to be mingled with yours

李白“長干行”
妾髮初覆額，折花門前劇。
郎騎竹馬來，繞床弄青梅。
……
十五始展眉，願同塵與灰

本客按：美國詩人Ezra
Pound譯，讀來舒服阿。尤其“I desired my dust to be
mingled with
yours”(願同塵與灰)，譯得多好？只是我有個小小的意見：“While
my hair was cut straight across my
forehead”，初覆額，不是她“cut”了個童花頭哈，一個cut字，出入太大了。

1. 花嫣然
   
   11:17
   07月 11th, 2005
   
   

   晕晕~~中文诗歌翻译为英文，真别扭亚